To Die an Old Man, Filled with Regret
by Althea Sage
Summary: In "Queen of Hearts" doesn't it seem odd that neither Arthur nor Morgana question the antics of a crazy old sorcerer? This story details the missing moments of that night and the following days in which Merlin became Dragoon the Great.
1. Arthur

Disclaimer: Unfortunately Merlin isn't mine, my patent attorney is still working o getting the rights settled.

A/N: Don't you think that if a crazy, yet powerful old sorcerer came barging into your castle saying he'd enchanted you to fall in love with a servant when you knew for a fact that you hadn't been enchanted at all, you might have a question or two?

This is set while Merlin is pretending to be an old sorcerer to save Gwen during "Queen of Hearts"

**To Die an Old Man, Filled with Regret**

It was cold in the cell, but he was used to it, having been thrown down here more times than he cared to remember. But this time had been different, for one he was not himself, or at least not the self he recognized.

And also in this little foray into the dungeons he had come clean, walking straight up to Uther and declaring himself a sorcerer, there was a certain feel of it, walking into the dungeons rather than being thrown into them.

Everything had gone to plan, as he had been escorted to his cell he had passed Gwen as she was led back into the open air. He smiled, a fair trade, a life saved, two lives by the look on Arthur's face when he discovered her release.

But the way Arthur had looked at him, when Merlin had confessed to enchanting them, it had chilled him, but it was worth it, his friend was safe, and it wouldn't be long now before he too would be out of harms way.

And now Merlin was simply waiting, he was sure they would come, at some point, and now he was just trying to guess which of them would come down the stairs first. Whether it'd be Arthur's thick leather boots or Morgana's light heals clicking down the stone steps.

Within the hour he heard the clatter of footsteps on the stair, And as expected the prince came into view around the stone columns. Merlin smiled a little as Arthur approached, leaning back against the cold stone wall of his prison, "I was wondering when you'd get here." That stopped Arthur in his tracks.

But then his jaw hardened, "you knew I would come sorcerer?" he asked accusingly. "Well I figured you would, after I…'enchanted' you and Guinevere" Merlin said, trying to hide a smile. While Arthur flinched "I want to know why. Why you would enchant us."

"Your highness, I think we both know, there was never any enchantment" And at that Merlin couldn't hold in the small smile as he looked up at the prince through the bars, raising his eyebrows as he did. Before turning his face away again.

Arthur just looked awestruck for a moment, and then confused, and then angry again, "then why would you frame Gwen?"

"Now, is that what I really did?..." Merlin said as he gazed out the small window, seemingly aloof. Arthur had no answer to this and remained quiet, waiting for the sorcerer to speak.

Finally he turned and upon groaning joints began to stand from where he had been sitting against the wall. And when he was eye to eye with Arthur, Merlin said quietly "maybe, instead of framing Gwen, I saved her life." He raised an eyebrow, waiting for his friend to catch on.

"Prince Arthur, do you really think that a sorcerer bent on doing you harm would come right out and say that it was him, do you really think a sorcerer powerful enough to cast such an enchantment would be so sloppy?

"Come now my prince, do you really think that if I wanted to escape these chains I wouldn't be able too? I am a 'sorcerer' as you say. And if I am as powerful as you believe why would I remain here?" He asked, and Arthur saw the old man's eyes fill with gold, and moments later they both herd the lock click, and the door opened easily, but the sorcerer stayed inside the cell standing before Arthur as his eyes changed back to blue.

"I could escape if I wanted to." Merlin said quietly. "I'm protecting her, Arthur, and you. There is an evil sorceress residing in Camelot, hiding right under your father's nose. I can't tell you who." He said quickly when Arthur was about to speak. "It is much easier for me to deal with her if no one else knows. I am trusting you, Arthur Pendragon, to not do anything stupid. This witch knows about your love for Guinevere, she is trying to kill her to break you, I will protect you and Gwen, but you have to trust me. I have protected Camelot for too long for you to screw it up now, so don't." the door suddenly closed of its own once again. "Wait…" Arthur called shaking his head, trying to understand, "how long have you been here?" Merlin laughed a little, "Awhile… protecting your sorry ass cause you can't seem to stay out of trouble."

"Do I know you?"

Merlin stopped, if he had been looking at Arthur, the jig would've been up, he had stopped, suddenly, rigidly and there was no doubt that Arthur had noticed.

"Perhaps, but it is also likely that you have heard of me, the Druids are quite fond of my legends, and there is usually a sorcerer every few months who wishes to challenge me and test his strength against Camelot."

Merlin would still not look at the Prince and instead stared contemplatively out the window until Arthur broke the silence "But who are you?"

Merlin sighed and turned around to face his prince, "I am Emrys. I shall tell you no more, if you look hard enough I'm sure you can figure out what that means, but you will have to look elsewhere, you will find no answers in this dank cell."

"But…"

"No Prince Arthur. I'm done talking, rest assured I will protect Guinevere, but you must find the answers to your questions above ground." And then Merlin sat back against the wall again and looked away, appearing on the surface as a decrepit old man once again, if he spoke anymore he would give himself away, and he couldn't risk that, not now.

The prince went away, walking slowly back up the stone steps, deep in thought.

It wasn't until the late hours of the night that he received another visitor…

A/N: I'm going to continue this at least one more chapter, if you want me to write about Arthur trying to figure it all out, all you need to do is spend 15 seconds writing a review, I need to know if the story is good enough to continue.


	2. Morgana

Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin I wouldn't be writing out my fantasies in fan fiction I'd be making Colin Morgan do it on the show.

A/N Again, if you were an evil sorceress trying to get your maid killed wouldn't you question the reasons an old sorcerer guy has for messing with your plans to save someone?

Chapter 2:

When Morgana descended the stair she saw the old man sitting against the cold stone wall, his shoulder resting on the bars, he looked peaceful, sleeping, but she wouldn't let him rest for long. No one messed with her plans, and this senile old man had gone too far.

Just as she was about to scare him into wakefulness, his eyes snapped open, they were a bright blue, without a trace of the dullness that comes with old age. And those eyes, they screamed of power and alertness.

Morgana would not appear caught off guard by this old man and his piecing eyes, so she retreated into her cool shell and crossed her arms, the vengeful witch would make him suffer.

"So you're awake." She quipped "I wanted to ask you something, and it couldn't wait for morning because, well, you'll be dead by then." Merlin flinched slightly at the words, if Gaius couldn't make the remedy work he certainly would die by daybreak.

He returned his mind to the conversation, the web of lies, and petty jabs that were Morgana's new agenda.

"Why would you, a sorcerer, meddle with the death of a commoner?"

"I didn't want her to die." He said self assured.

"So you were working with her?" Morgana, no matter how angry she was would always try to cover her tracks. But Merlin just smiled"lets cut the crap Morgana, I know you're trying to frame Gwen to get her killed, I know that there was no enchantment, and I know exactly who you are."

Morgana was surprised, she tried her best not to show it but Merlin could always tell. "Oh yes I've been watching you. I know all about you Morgana." He said, closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall behind him.

Still with his eyes closed, he spoke with a quiet, tired voice, "I know about you're many plots to kill the king, having stopped most of them myself, I know that you were not in fact kidnapped last year, I know it was you that made Camelot sleep, I know all about your search for identity since you discovered your…gifts, and the fact that your dreams weren't really dreams at all."

And as he continued her eyes grew bigger and bigger and he could see it on her face; the confusion, the hurt, the anger, "you have been here this whole time, you let me suffer, why? Why didn't you help me?"

"It is a journey Morgana, a journey to be traveled alone; you must choose for yourself whether to follow the light or the dark."

"I didn't choose! I didn't choose any of this! It found me, and I didn't know what to do so I went to the only people who could help me deal with this!" He turned his eyes toward her and she saw them harden as he climbed to his feet, "You did choose! You chose the path of selfishness, of killing and torture to get what you want!"

"They would do the same to us! YOU should be on OUR side!" she hissed at him trying hard not to raise her voice, while stepping up to the bars. He came toe to toe with her, and through the bars the old man looked enraged "That doesn't make it right! You have been seduced by power Morgana, and I should have finished the job I started one year ago! Killing you!" His eyes bugged out and he clamped his mouth shut as she stepped away from the bars with a gasp.

And then with a shaky breath, "You? But… Merlin…"

The old man retreated from the bars as well, no longer fuming, but more thoughtful; he clasped his hands behind his back as he turned away, once again facing the window and the little moonlight he could see, Merlin was finding it easier to lie this way.

And then quietly he spoke, he would have to be careful and think out what he was about to say, he couldn't afford to mess this up. "I've been watching you, for… for a very long time Morgana."

He turned back to look at her. His hands still clasped behind his back "I came here long ago because it is my duty to protect Arthur, at all costs, to guide him along the path of greatness, and to make him cast off his father's hate, and his resentment. The reason, Morgana, that you and your dear sister have never been able to overthrow Camelot is because of me, because it is Arthur's destiny and his alone; to bring magic back to Camelot, and to unite the lands of Albion.

But he, Morgana will do it peacefully, and the people of this great land will follow him willingly into a new age, where we are free, revered, not feared. But _you_ chose the wrong side."

But Morgana eyes were still filled with anger, and not the reverent foolish wisdom of Dragoon, and she whispered, barely able to hold back her contempt "Arthur has no spine, you are a foolish old man if you think he will do any good for this land, HE is as weak as his father, and if he knew what I was he would have me killed, he would turn on me faster than Merlin had."

When she said this she thought she saw a flash of hurt in the old man's eyes, he sighed, and looked down at his feet "He was working on my orders." He had said this so suddenly, that it made her take a step back

"You." She whispered

He nodded with a sad look in his eye, "I had no choice, you were being used as the spell's core, I couldn't break it on power alone, and I had to save Arthur" he looked into her eyes, there was no remorse there, only acceptance of what he had done and the price he had paid, "You gave me no choice. Merlin came to me, already feeling the effects of the illness, he has needed my help before in trying to save Arthur from this monster, or that witch, or those bandits. He didn't know what to do, Arthur was growing weaker and there was no one left but me to help."

He sat back down again with a sigh, leaning back once more against the cold stone wall, Merlin felt it a little odd to be talking about himself in third person, but he believed it was the only way to get his point across to this woman who had once been his friend, to finally tell her all the things he had wanted to, all the things that had been eating at him.

Dragoon sighed once more, his eyes closed as he rested against his cell, he spoke, his voice ragged with remembering "Merlin was heartbroken at your betrayal, he knew it had been coming, but still he felt tortured by the knowledge that you were openly opposing Camelot. When I told him what he had to do to save Arthur and all the others he pleaded for me to find another way, he begged, and he cried. And for awhile he tried to avoid it, he did not succumb to what was necessary until the last moment, when he had no choice, just like me, when he finally realized you had ripped our choices from us. And we would have to do whatever it took to protect Camelot."

"But kill me?" she questioned; he could tell she was shaken by his revelations, and it hurt his heart, even now to tell her these things. But he had to tell her, if there was any good left in her, any sanity, perhaps she would listen to this last plea. His eyes hardened and he looked up at her through the bars once again "It was you, or the people of Camelot, thousands of innocents Morgana, and for what? Revenge?" Merlin let out one last world weary sigh "you are as bad as your father."

Morgana stiffened at the comment, her jaw clenching tightly at his words, but she could not scream at him, she could not rage and yell and cry that he was wrong, she was locked in this prison of her own creation, and there was a small part of her, however deep inside it may be, that cried weakly that he was right.

She was pulled back to reality when he spoke again, "I'm sorry" he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you, I'm sorry that we ended up on different sides of this war." He looked at her with sad, pitying eyes, that's what got to her, the pity, she was a powerful sorceress _no one _need pity her. And then with renewed malice, her face twisted into an evil sneer "You are the traitor, not me, and we will end you,and your prince, and _Merlin_." Dragoon looked away again, and she thought that maybe, just maybe she saw the glint of a tear in the corner of his eye.

She turned to leave, her mission for the moment complete, when she heard his raspy voice one last time, just as she was mounting the first stair, "He cared for you you know, he loved you, there was a time when Merlin would've done anything for you, why else would he find the Druids for you, even when he had been forbidden to help you."

"Why do you tell me this?" she whispered, still facing away from him, she could hear the old man shift on the floor before he answered her, "because I want you to understand his anguish, I want you to understand that when he poised you, it wasn't just you that suffered, it wasn't just you that let a piece of themselves go that day, a part of Merlin died too, and he will never forgive himself for what he had to do."

She turned back to look at him one last time, bewildered green met piercing blue, before Dragoon turned away, leaning back against the stone wall once more, and for Morgana, it was obvious the conversation was over, and turning to leave, she ascended the stairs with more questions than when she had arrived, and no closer to any of the answers.

Meanwhile, Merlin sat quietly in his cell, listening to the drip drip of water, and waiting for morning and the hope that he would not be locked in this ancient body for much longer.

A/N: ok so really really really sorry for the super long wait, its been sitting on my computer for months I just haven't had the willpower to finish (to busy reading instead of writing).

You all should be glad to know, this is NOT the end, I have a few more things I want to do but I don't know when I'll get them up because school's back and I'm taking four AP's.

Love You All, and please pretty please review!


	3. Overheard

Disclaimer: I don't, and unfortunately never will own Merlin

**Chapter 3: Overheard**

Arthur had been walking aimlessly around the castle for hours now.

When he had left the dungeons he had been dazed, like his legs had been cut out from under him, and now he didn't know what to think and he was even more indecisive about what to do.

This man, this Dragoon had spoken the truth, there had been no enchantment, he should have known that from the beginning, but he had been blind.

He knew Gwen loved him and he knew he loved her. And now as he thought about it, he was again struck by how stupid he had been, to not have realized how absurd Dragoon's story for the king really was.

Dragoon's words continued to echo in his head, Arthur hadn't been able to go to bed for all the thoughts and confusion whirling through his mind.

If he was to believe this man, he who had saved Guinevere from the pyre, he would have to rethink everything, all the beliefs he had held unshakably would need to be broken down, reanalyzed.

If he were to believe this man, the world as he knew it would tilt on its axis, everything would change, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

But could he really sentence a man that he knew was innocent to death? That was the ultimatum, the inescapable question and the difference between his fathers' world, and Dragoons.

He had known his choice long before he acknowledged it, and found himself walking swiftly back down the stairwell to the dungeons. Arthur stopped just before turning the corner into the dungeon outer room.

He heard muffled voices coming from beyond but he risked a peek to look around the corner and was surprised to see the guards asleep in their chairs. Arthur rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, _typical, _one of these days he was going to have to have a serious chat with the Camelot guards about their lack of diligence.

Arthur walked quietly passed the snoring guards, but then he heard it again, the muffled voices, it hadn't been the guards, and he knew the only prisoner in this part of the dungeon was Dragoon.

His eyes narrowed as the facts fit into place, the sleeping guards, the low voices, someone was down here visiting the sorcerer in the dead of night who didn't want to be discovered, and it was making Arthur uneasy.

_Was there a traitor in Camelot? _

_Someone within the palace?_

He stopped for a moment realizing the hypocrisy of his own thoughts, here he was, crown prince of Camelot, trusted and loved by both the king and the people, sneaking around the dungeons in an attempt to free a self-proclaimed sorcerer.

Arthur swallowed dryly but continued down the dark hall, the echoing voices growing louder…

"…_did choose! You…of selfishness…torture…what you want!"_

The voices were going in and out, and Arthur couldn't quite catch a few sentences, but that had clearly been Dragoon, and as he drew closer to the occupied cell he heard another voice, it was far more feminine, and familiar, and the way the speaker was talking sent a chill through his bones.

"They would do the same to us! YOU should be on OUR side!"

Morgana's voice cut to the core of Arthur's being, without even seeing her he could tell that there was a side to the girl he had known that he had no idea about. Her voice was cold and filled with anger, hate and pain.

But then Dragoon spoke again, his voice bursting with barely controlled rage "That doesn't make it right! You have been seduced by the power Morgana, and I should have finished the job I started one year ago! Killing you!

And now from Arthur's new hiding spot behind a large stone pillar his eyes widened to the size of saucers ad his head whipped around so that he might get his first look at the two quarreling people.

Dragoon and Morgana were just inches apart, separated only by the cell wall, Dragoon's hands were clenched tightly around the bars, a look of anger twisting his old face, while Morgana stood ready to pounce, her eyes concealing none of the malice she was feeling for Dragoon.

When the old sorcerer had let that last comment slip, Morgana had stepped back from the bars with a sharp intake of breath, and when Arthur saw this he pulled back as well, he was confused, but smart enough to know that it was in his best interest to stay hidden for now. Even still, he was reeling.

_Dragoon had tried to kill Morgana? _

_Why?_

_What was his role in all of this?_

In the back of his mind he could hear Morgana's stuttering over Dragoon's slip, but when Arthur heard Merlin's name he immediately snapped out of his confusion in time to hear the old man's quiet response.

"He was under my orders."

_Merlin was working with Dragoon? _

_WHAT?_

It was all to much for the young prince, and so slinking back into the shadows behind the cold stone he slid to the floor and rested his head on the wall, he could not deal with all of this right now.

He would have to be content to just sit here and wait, he would leave the interrogations for later. For now he would just listen.

Morgana was just as shocked as Arthur, it was evident in her voice, it was clear to both of them now that they knew very little of what was really going on around them, and as they were used to being in control of their own situation, or seemingly in control it now appeared.

Dragoon and Morgana spoke a while longer, and soon fell into a pattern of raised angry voices followed quickly by harsh whispers when they remembered that they were in fact battling in secret.

And all the while Arthur remained silent, his face growing longer and longer as more was revealed to him.

It seemed more and more that Morgana must possess magic.

That she had been the one to betray Camelot, to betray him and Gwen, his father, all of them.

She had NOT been kidnapped.

She wanted to take the throne.

But as Morgana it seemed was finally leaving, tiring of Dragoon's words and about to storm back up the stairs, he learned what he had always suspected, but never really considered…

Merlin had loved Morgana, what he hadn't known was that even with his love for her, he was strong enough to do what was right for all, what was right for Arthur.

Merlin had sacrificed more than Arthur ever had, and he never told anyone, he let them continue to believe that he was a bumbling idiot, when truly his will was stronger than the best of Arthur's knights.

That revelation was just too much for the young prince, he didn't even try to listen anymore, so confused and shocked was he, and before he knew what was happening Morgana had swept back up the stairwell, and in her absence Dragoon was able to collapse against the side of the cell, able to finally blow out a shaky breath.

And then as Merlin picked himself up again and moved quietly to the window, Arthur too, got up and stretched his aching body from sitting against the pillar.

Not sure if he should confront the old man about what he had just overheard, or pretend it never happened, continue with his duty; execute the sorcerer, and obey his father's wishes, continue to behave like an ignorant for Morgana, and pretend that nothing else had changed.

**A/N: Well, what do you want to happen? Leave a review and I'll consider any ideas you people give me :)**

**And also I am so so so sorry for the delay, I'm not even going to attempt a lame excuse, I just kept adding to this story whenever I got bored in math, or physics, plus the fact that I couldn't type at a reasonable pace to save my life sooooo yeaa…**

**I'm not sure when I'll get the next chapter up, but probably within the next month… I hope you liked this chapter and please R&R **

**-AS**


	4. The Backlash

A/N: This is dedicated to natsfanfiction for poking me awake and getting me to work on this story and finish.

Disclaimer: You guys all know the drill, I don't own Merlin, I never will own it, blah blah blah

Chapter 4: The Backlash

"You can come out now Arthur."

Dragoon said quietly to the air. He had realized the prince was there only after Morgana had already left. And now it was as if Arthur's heartbeat was drumming in his ears.

At first he was scared, terrified really, of what Arthur had overheard, and it had taken him several minutes to calm down, and breathe deeply. To finally decide rationally that it didn't matter if Arthur had overheard all of his conversation with Morgana or none of it.

It didn't matter what Arthur now thought of him or of the witch. There was a very strong possibility that he would not survive the coming morning, and if he was to leave this world he wanted to at least try and make Arthur see that magic was not evil.

And so he had called out to him, ready to face whatever the prince had to say to him, Merlin pulled up his mask yet again, ready to appear strong, mysterious, ready to continue his charade as Dragoon.

While Merlin was calming down from his silent panic attack, Arthur was just getting started with his own.

'_How long had Dragoon known he'd been there?'_

'_Was he angry that Arthur now knew what he did?'_

'_Did Dragoon know Arthur knew?'_

'_Was he even sure what he himself had heard?'_

But ever the gallant and courageous prince, Arthur stepped out from his hiding place in the shadows to face the old sorcerer, and there he stood waiting for the powerful man to turn from his contemplation of the outside world through the tiny barred window.

But he never did turn, instead deciding to speak to the prince without looking at him, "How much did you hear?" The old man's voice was commanding and strong, but still barely above a whisper, and Arthur could hear the tension beneath Dragoon's words.

Taking a deep breath, unsure of what the sorcerer's response would be, "Enough."

But the old man did not respond as Arthur may have expected, Dragoon sighed and ran a hand through his hair before finally turning to look the prince in the eye, "And?"

"I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." Merlin's heart sunk '_I'm getting fired for sure.'_

"But it's obvious to me now that the Morgana I thought I knew disappeared a long time ago." Merlin's shoulders slackened, and he could feel tension leaving his body.

"And that there is really very little I understand" The prince said quietly.

At that last comment Dragoon tensed visibly and then with a sigh and a short curse "I take it you mean Merlin."

At that all the questions that had been racing around in Arthur's mind came to the surface.

"H…how long? Why? I just don't…"

"Aggghh look, please, just help me understand. How long has Merlin been working with you? Has he been spying on me this whole time? What… Just… What?"

Dragoon smiled slightly "To soothe your doubts I want you to know that Merlin is on your side, and will always be on your side. He is loyal to you and only you. Not me, not your father. But you should know that he, and I as well, will do anything and everything we can to protect you Arthur."

"But why? Why would you watch over me? Why, when I know my kingdom has done you no favors, when the law is to kill any of your kind. Why would you try to help me?"

Dragoon smiled and walked toward the bars, "because I believe in a golden age of Camelot. A Camelot that I see in you. Now, go Prince Arthur for it is late, and we have a big day ahead of us." The old man said with a slight smile, betraying none of his doubts for the prince to see.

Arthur chuckled "I… I came to free you Dragoon." But the old man shook his head "I'll get myself out of this Arthur, you need not worry. Now get out of here or someone might begin to wonder why the prince is visiting a warlock."

Arthur nodded and began to turn before hesitating, "If you need anything… look, I've decided to trust you. So if you need help…" the prince left off there and then with a nod began to walk away into the gloom only to be called back a moment later by Dragoon.

"Arthur! Be careful."

"Morgana is vindictive and you must remember to watch your back, I may not always be there to protect you."

Arthur nodded, his face swiftly becoming a frown as he left the dungeon without another word, his heart sinking at the thought of Morgana's betrayal.

-MERLIN-

Dragoon had indeed escaped.

Arthur was worried to begin with when he had come down the dungeon stair expecting to see an empty cell and finding the old man still there, standing as if he was made of stone, seemingly oblivious to the contingent of armed guards at the barred door.

As soon as Arthur had called out to him and pulled the door open for the white bearded sorcerer, Dragoon had turned and shuffled past the anxious prince without a word of comfort that he had in fact devised an escape. He left Arthur to follow behind his men, desperately trying to find a way to help his new friend out of the situation they had found themselves in.

However the young prince's worry was for naught, Dragoon, upon seeing Gaius on the sidelines in the courtyard must have believed the frail old man would provide an easy escape through the crowd.

But even Arthur did not expect the crazed shouting of Dragoon, as the wily old sorcerer's attack on the physician prompted chaos for over an hour within the castle. In which Arthur had found himself searching the hallways for a man he didn't wish to find, only to come upon Merlin in an alcove off of one of the main halls.

Arthur; surprised to see his manservant after his days of absence, and with the new knowledge the prince had acquired regarding his supposed idiot servant, Arthur was understandably flustered.

So he just stood there for a moment staring at the man he had thought he knew so well, both admiring and despising Merlin for all that the believed 'simple' boy had kept secret.

Staring for almost a half second longer than would have been appropriate without causing suspicion, Arthur came out of his daze just in time to gruffly tell Merlin off for spending the last two days in the tavern.

But at Merlin's confused face Arthur came to the realization that maybe it wasn't just him trying to help Dragoon escape in the last few hours, perhaps it was thanks to Merlin that not a soul in the palace had seen hide nor hair of the sorcerer.

Arthur spent two more very long, very uneventful hours searching all the rooms in the palace for any sign of Dragoon, effectively leading his honorable knights, his friends, on a wild goose chase.

And as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky Arthur began to doubt his actions, _perhaps he had been led on, what if his father was right and magic was evil?_ And when these thoughts entered his mind he was continually accosted by the vision of Morgana's smirking face, but every time his fear crept in a picture of Gwen flew into his mind and he knew he had to trust Dragoon.

To protect Gwen he would do anything he had realized, even if that meant going against all of his father's teachings, he would venture out into this unknown realm, he would risk everything, even his kingdom, and he thought, _that may just be what I'm doing, _but as long as he could protect Gwen and keep his morals intact, he would trust the warlock.

Hours later, Arthur found himself standing before the king in the throne room, amidst courtiers, nobles, and knights, giving his report that Dragoon had somehow escaped them, and it was now apparent that the sorcerer was no longer in Camelot. But throughout his report, and as Uther began to rant once more about the evils of magic, Arthur stared past him so that he might study Morgana.

The woman he had known, and loved as a sister for almost his whole life was a complete mystery to him, and as he looked at her, he found that just yesterday he had been completely blinded by her façade. But today, after Dragoon had ripped off her mask it was plain for him to see the evil in her eyes. They seemed to flame with hatred, and burn with anger, pain, and malice, and beneath it all was an undercurrent of danger.

The prince wondered how it could be possible that he hadn't seen this change in her when it was so obvious to him now. She was almost shaking with rage as he looked at her, and he questioned how no one else noticed.

And that's when it really hit him, _Merlin _had noticed, he may be working with Dragoon now but in order to fall in with the sorcerer he must have seen what was really going on. At this thought Arthur slowly turned to look at his manservant, breaking his gaze with Morgana and saw that like him, Merlin was observing her.

His form however, was much more rigid than Arthur's had been when looking on the witch, and Merlin's stare was filled with the same anger he had seen in Morgana's eyes, except mixed in was pity, and guilt he thought, but perhaps at this point he was just reading into the expression's on his friend's face because of what he now knew was really going on right below the surface.

_How had this happened?_

_How could Morgana possibly have magic? Where did she learn it?_

_Why was she trying to destroy Camelot?_

_Why was Dragoon trying to protect it?_

Arthur could barely hear the king anymore over the questions pounding in his head, it was all too much, and when the meeting was finally finished, Arthur left as quickly as he could without arousing suspicion, but still Merlin's eyebrows raised as the prince nearly ran out of the great hall.

Arthur continued to move, making his way to his chambers as swiftly as possible, and slamming the doors shut behind him as if he were being chased by some terrifying beast, he held them closed as he took deep breaths. Trying to calm himself, and finally he pushed off the doors and turned to sit at his desk.

He collapsed into the chair, staring at the wood grain of his table, his mind a million miles away as he rested his head in his hands. And as he sat there, the sun dipped lower and lower behind him until the room was ablaze with orange light as the great orb became elliptic on the horizon.

That was when he heard the quiet knock at the door, before it opened and a small hand wrapped around the thick frame.

Arthur looked up quickly to see the dusky skin of Guinevere's face. She ducked into his room quickly, closing the door as fast as she could, they had only just escaped suspicion today, and Gwen did not wish to jeopardize their reprieve so soon.

But once the door was closed she turned back to look at the prince, who had stood up from his desk when she had entered. Arthur smiled softly and came around the desk to meet her, holding his arms out and pulling her into a tight hug as soon as she was in reach.

They stood there in each other's arms; giving and receiving comfort from the great stresses of the day, before Arthur whispered into her hair, his head resting on top of hers "I thought I was going to lose you."

His voice was barely loud enough for her to here, but she could feel the tremble in his voice, the way his arms pulled her even tighter to his chest. Gwen had been similarly worried, but somehow they had made it through; alive, together, and for the moment, safe.

But finally after holding each other, feeling the other's heartbeat, Arthur sighed and unwound his arms from around her small body to look at her. His face was grim and his voice grimmer still.

"There are some things I need to tell you. Truths that I have discovered in the last few days, things I have been attempting to understand since this nightmare began." She looked at him quizzically and he sighed, and in that moment Gwen could see the depth of his pain, "Guinevere, in the last twenty four hours we have gained a staunch and precious ally, and lost a dear friend, I believe forever."

He led her to the oak table and pulled a chair out for her to take. It was still hard for Gwen to accept his chivalry. After so many years of serving the nobility that even in the privacy of Arthur's quarters she found difficulty in being treated as such, but even still she just smiled at him and sat in the offered chair. Arthur quickly took the end seat nearest to her so they were perpendicular to each other, before taking her hands in his and squeezing them gently.

Guinevere looked into his face again only to see his eyes firmly on the tabletop as he seemed to gather his thoughts, before with a long and shaky sigh; he looked up into her brown eyes and began his tale.

-MERLIN-

Elsewhere in the castle, a similar tale was being recounted in whispers, similar in that the rendezvous was most secret and forbidden. But different, as these two conspirators hidden in the darkest shadows were not rejoicing their victory, but cursing a battle lost, and another plan foiled. But deep in the twisted minds of these sisters a plan of vengeance was forming…

-MERLIN-

**A/N: Well? What did you guys think? I know it's been awhile but I have some new ideas so don't get sick of me yet! I've got a bit of a plan for the pattern of these chapters now and have no plan to end this story any time soon. I love reviews, I love guesses and requests for things you guys think are going to happen or want to happen so write me a review!**

**See you all hopefully soon**

**-AS**


	5. Walls

Chapter Five: Walls

Morgana was seething with fury as she walked swiftly towards her chambers, moonlight catching on her dress as she moved through the deserted hallway.

_How Dare he!_

To insult her as he had, make a fool out of her as he had, thwart her plans, and his most heinous act; employing Merlin and turning him against her.

Even now, so many months later, Merlin's betrayal still cut into her. Usually, thinking of his actions reignited the fire of anger and pain within her, remembering his lies, how he had manipulated her and almost killed her.

But now there was only loss.

To know that the _whole _time, Merlin, her only friend for so long in all of this, could have helped her, and didn't.

It was a worse betrayal than before and the pain of it was tearing at her insides, enough that she had to stop and rest against the wall, using one hand to hold her up against the cold stone and the other clutched at her middle as she tried to hold back a sob, and the pain that wracked her body.

She grimaced, and for the first time since her return to Camelot all that she was feeling showed on her face. The pain and anguish, her own indecisiveness and guilt over her actions, the true sorrow at her position was plain on her face.

Her arm buckled and she fell against the wall, but the cold gray stone broke through the storm of her emotions, and reality came sharply back into focus.

_She had to come back to the real world, there was no point feeling sorry for herself, this was the way things were and she had to make the best of her situation and put the past behind her._

Morgana steeled herself. Clenching her fists tightly she took deep breaths, calming her body and sending the whirlwind of emotion back behind the mask of indifference and malice.

_Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out._

Her body's shaking slowed to small tremors before it stopped completely. Her heart still hurt, but that was something she was used to.

The troubled seer pushed herself off the wall and wiped away a tear that had somehow slipped past her defenses. She took another deep breath recalling all the reasons she had to hate the people within these walls, a technique she had developed in her year with Morgause whenever her doubts crept up on her.

First she would think of Uther and anger and fear bubbled up in her instantly. Her hatred for Uther went back further than the knowledge of her own magic, and even in the time before, she had used this dislike for her guardian as a centering device.

Whenever she began to lose her way, she would remember the beliefs she held unconditionally. Of course in that time before, Arthur and Gwen had been ideas of warmth and light for her.

Now, the thought of Morgause alone made her happy, gave her hope for something better, and hope in these days of misery was what she desperately needed.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._ Now, Uther; anger, pain, fury, disgust.

_He must die._

_Breathe in. Breathe out. _Arthur; distrust, ignorance, fear.

_He. Must. Die._

_Breathe in. Breathe out._ Gwen, this was harder, Gwen was her best friend. NO. Had been. She had chosen to follow Arthur. She had betrayed her. She would always be loyal to Camelot. _Remember the goal. If she lives, I will never be queen. And that's what we want. What I want._

_She. Must. Die._

Morgana closed her eyes. _Focus, focus, breathe. You are better than all of them. You have a destiny, a people for whom you must have vengeance._

_I must do this, if not for myself, for them._

Morgause's voice echoed in her mind 'Vengeance Sister. We owe it to our people, those still alive, and those who have died but were never forgotten. You sister will be the face of our revenge.'

Morgana was nearing her chambers now, she could do this. She had to be strong for all the sorcerers who couldn't be. She was guilty of nothing, of all those she knew in Camelot she was the least traitorous, her cause was just, and Dragoon's words that had made her reel were now fading into the dark corners of her mind, overrun by her renewed hate of Merlin and the old wizard who had foiled her plans.

Opening the door to her chambers Morgana strode in and shut the door before going to her dresser to retrieve the magic stone within. She had to contact Morgause. She needed to tell her sister of these new developments.

Dragoon had thrown a wrench in her plans and now he would pay. He would face her wrath, and the ire of her sister. And when he was dead, she would turn her attentions to Merlin and make sure he suffered a long and torturous death.

Morgana smiled. All her doubts from before were once again buried beneath her vast and building anger.

-MERLIN-

Morgana had been standing on the palace balcony with Uther when the pyre had burst into flames. She had known a sorcerer as powerful as the old man would be able to escape with ease.

At first she had wondered why he hadn't just opened the cell door late last night and disappeared, but her curiosity quickly vanished under the press of her malicious joy that she might actually get to see the annoyance die on the pyre.

From the balcony she saw the whole of Dragoon's escape, how he tackled Gaius and ran out of the square, all the while cursing Camelot and Uther.

She watched as Uther bellowed at the knights to get after him, watched as they tried to push through the chaos of the crowd. And she saw Arthur's slight hesitation before he too ran after the white bearded sorcerer.

-MERLIN

It was many hours before everything began to calm down again. The fire had been doused with buckets of water, and the charred wood of the pyre had been carted away.

The excitement for those from the lower town was gone, and so were the peasants, back to their cottages, their storefronts, and fields. Like nothing had happened that morning, their lives were not altered by one more sorcerer's burning, or lack thereof. And by the next time a magic user was caught no one would remember the old man, none but Morgana.

Uther had called a meeting of the court, by now it was obvious even to him, that Dragoon had slipped through their fingers.

And now the tyrant had no body to burn, and seemed to pace the hall like a caged animal, enraged, and with no idea that the real instigator in all of this was sitting in the carved chair beside his throne.

Morgana's eyes gleamed with hidden laughter at the king's stupidity. Just as Uther's rage was waning, Arthur and his knights came through the open doors to face the court and at their report officially marking Dragoon's escape Uther's anger returned to full strength as he roared and spewed hate at all magic.

By now Morgana's eyes had landed elsewhere, a scrawny figure that had entered the room beside Gaius held her attention.

And as she looked on her betrayer, her attempted murderer, her false confidant and guide, the anger she had just managed to pull back under the surface of her cold exterior came boiling right back up. But now it was even hotter and less controlled than before.

_He had known this whole time. He could have helped me, but had feigned ignorance instead._

Rage, pain, hurt, jealousy, emotions flooded through her _How dare he? HOW DARE HE? To know what he did, and hold it over her, make her grovel and beg for his help._

The fire of her anger was burning through her as she caught his eye. And in that instant she saw his own anger, more controlled than hers but still there, roiling within the blue of his eyes.

Merlin held her gaze; she saw the guilt of is actions reflected there, but it was flooded in this instance by his rage.

Morgana's lip turned slightly upward at his unsettled appearance. She had gotten away with it again; no one would ever suspect the sweet Lady Morgana.

Let him continue his traitorous campaign with Dragoon, they may have won this round but they _would not _win the war. Morgana would make sure of that. Morgause was already planning their next assault, and that night they would be deciding what vengeance would be most painful for their new enemy Dragoon.

Morgana filled her mind with the thought of the old man's impending doom. The pain and anger was swept away, replaced with a terrible happiness that craved their blood.

As Uther closed the meeting for the day and Arthur ran from the room, she caught the eye of Merlin again and her jaw tightened, in his eyes she saw the same anger, but beneath it there was something else. Some emotion she could never quite pin down. It wasn't pity, but that could have been a part of it.

It was something deeper, more complicated. She swept past him, flashing her customary smirk in his direction as she moved out beyond the door.

Morgana laughed at that, let him keep guessing. But beneath that shallow smile she pondered him deeply as she moved swiftly through the familiar halls.

_What had that look meant?_

_Maybe Dragoon had been right about a few things after all… _

-MERLIN-

She had stayed in her room for the rest of the day.

Claiming illness she escaped dinner with Uther and had Gwen bring her food to her chambers so that she might eat alone. Not knowing when Morgause would appear she released Gwen for the day, the woman thanked her and Morgana knew she was still much shaken over her almost demise. She feigned happiness and relief at Guinevere's release, and though she tried to deny it, somewhere deep within her, that relief was real.

Morgana closed her eyes as the door snapped shut.

_Breathe. Just Breathe. We do what we need to do to survive. I am working toward the greater good of my people. _

_Vengeance and prosperity. _

_I must not lose sight of that. Past relationships no longer matter. Uther must be deposed, and magic must be reinstated. _

_No matter the cost._

Morgana opened her eyes and brushed at her eyes, set her mouth in a firm line and began to cut the beef on her plate, waiting for the sound of a door opening, or footsteps on her staircase. It wasn't until she was readying for bed, true to her old naïve and vain self, she sat at her vanity and brushed her hair, counting the strokes.

_When would she be here? Had _she_ run into trouble?_

It was only then, when her stomach was tied in knots that a shimmer appeared on her hand mirror.

_The East Balcony_

The seer breathed a sigh of relief and slipped into a blue cloak, covering her black hair with the deep cowl. Peaking past the door she checked for passing guards, or god forbid, an appointed bodyguard ordered to stand watch at her door. Uther had done it before, and she wouldn't put it past him to do it again.

Luckily the only motion she saw was that of a servant disappearing around the far corner of the hall. With a small smile she slipped down the dark hall, not noticing the shadowy figure rising from his hiding place in a small alcove near her staircase.

Morgana swept around the corner and Merlin came into the light, rubbing his sore back and clenching his jaw he followed after her. He walked silently but calmly, he was untroubled. He had known she would call Morgause, and personally he wanted to hear the sorceress' opinion of him, _Dragoon the Great. _

_I quite like the sound of that, maybe this idea wasn't half bad after all h_e thought letting a rueful smile slip onto his face for a moment before he replaced it with the emotionless mask of concentration and began to follow his old friend once again.

At each corner he stopped, listening for the telltale swish of her cloak, the rustle of her nightgown. Finally he saw them, out on the balcony _must be cold out there_, and as he crept closer he saw the branches of trees blowing in the wind. The door had been left ajar and a cool breeze brushed against his face. Merlin took a deep breath and crept as close as he dared.

He could hear their voices, hoarse whispers that drifted into the castle. He couldn't risk looking past the open door. Morgause would sense him, of that he was quite sure. So he leaned against the wall, the cold already seeping in through his thin jacket.

This was of utmost importance; staying one step ahead of Morgause had been more difficult over the past few months, the sneaking around, and the eavesdropping, it was all he could do to stay in the dark and keep Arthur alive. She had become more active and had her "sister" to help her now. He knew that Morgana was formidable; he had witnessed just how far she was willing to go when she had framed Gwen.

_Was there any saving her? _

He wasn't so sure anymore, everyday it seemed like she was pushed closer and closer to the edge of no return, and perhaps she had already fallen over it. Maybe he was just blind, fooling himself into thinking there was still some good in her, maybe the small hesitations he saw in her were just imaginings, and he was clinging to the good Morgana he remembered, the one that flashed in her eyes sometimes.

This new Morgana was just a shadow of her former self, a puppet in her sister's play, strung up and manipulated into action as Cenred had been. But she couldn't see it, or perhaps she knew she was being used, and didn't care.

That was a worse thought, and he desperately hoped it wasn't true. When the time came he would fight her. But until that day he was bound by his loyalty, and duty to Arthur, and as long as she was calling for the prince's blood, she would be his enemy.

_I must not think of such things, I must stay focused. _Merlin rested his head against the wall and began to listen, silently drinking in all that he heard.

It made him sad to hear the abuse they threw at him, both his old self, and the person they knew to be Merlin. Their clandestine meeting seemingly coming to a close, Merlin pushed off the wall, and with one last look the warlock shook his head and walked back down the hall toward his quarters, it had been a long day, _a long year, _he hoped that tonight he would get a goodnight sleep, no doubt the world would go to complete hell tomorrow. He chuckled, as long as Arthur got his breakfast on time all would be wonderful.

-MERLIN-

When Morgana crept back into her room the night was at its darkest hour, her sister had shaken with fury when Morgana revealed the true reason their plans always failed, and for many minutes she watched as her sister fumed and hissed and cursed the old sorcerer for his cowardice and treachery.

Morgana was spent, in the last twenty four hours she had been furious, then reeling with shock, angry, sad, confused, and all things in between. So she just stood by Morgause and looked out at the moonlit countryside surrounding Camelot as her sister ranted. Never stopping her, letting her go until she too was spent, and then Morgana asked the question she had been jittery about all day, _revenge. _And now as she pulled the cord of her cloak free and climbed into her turned down bed she thought of the plan they had concocted for_ Dragoon the Great, _and smiled.

Before their plan was put in action, there were still some things they needed to know, she needed to know.

And the hunt was just beginning.

_To Be Continued…_

**Heyy readers! I hope you guys are all still enjoying this story, because I am!**

**This chapter was interesting to write, I knew what I wanted to happen, and once I started this chapter it just wrote itself, and there are a few things I didn't know would be in here until I was typing it out. I hope you like it, and the next chapter should be up in a few weeks, expect Arthur being… Arthur and Morgana's bug eyed "I don't understand" look a few times hahaha.**

**Please please please review, it warms my heart and it actually does make me write faster, I'm a big reader and a lot of the time it takes a few reviews to light the fire and make me type instead of read. **

**You guys are all amazing,**

**-AS**


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